…But He’s Got The Biggest, Balls Of Them All!
Look, we had better not see any of you dressing as this guy for Halloween, ok? Have a heart. Leave this dude’s balls alone! This story is heartbreaking. If you wish to lend this man a hand (we mean that figuratively, as in “make a donation”) his email is at the bottom of the page. Wowoweeewah. Between this and the sad tale of Mrs. Rancic, we’re not feeling very good about the state of medical affairs ’round here these days. Read on (if you can stomach it):
It sat in front of him, on top of a pillow that rested on a milk crate.
He sprinkled baby powder on it — what looked like a huge watermelon encased in a compression bandage — but the unmistakable smell of urine couldn’t be completely smothered.
“Hard to believe, isn’t it?” 47-year-old Wesley Warren Jr. said in the poorly lit apartment. “It’s freakish.”
What sat in front of where Warren was seated in shorts — what is actually attached to him — was more than 100 pounds of scrotum, the protective sac of skin and muscle that contains his testicles.
“It’s not easy to get around,” he said, standing and groaning as he lifted his scrotum off its makeshift pedestal and carefully let it hang almost to the floor. “It makes me stay in most of the time.”
If there is a more unusual medical condition afflicting someone from Southern Nevada, the medical community or patient hasn’t come forward with it. Warren has gone public, even though he knows there will be those who laugh at him, because he desperately wants a costly surgery to correct the scrotal elephantiasis that became part of his life nearly three years ago.
Daily bouts of depression — “I want to have real friends and a relationship with a woman” — throw him into the depths of despair. “But I’m not suicidal. I’m too strong for that.”
Much like Victorian England’s Joseph Merrick, whose life with severe deformities became the subject of both the play and movie, “The Elephant Man,” Warren has concluded that to escape his present life he must allow himself to be exhibited.
Unlike Merrick, who used freak show exhibitions to stay alive, Warren at least has enough money through social programs to put food in his stomach and a roof over his head.
In hopes of getting the money for a possible corrective procedure that physicians have told him can cost about $1 million, Warren swallowed his pride by outing himself recently on shock jock Howard Stern’s national satellite radio and cable TV freak segment.
But he used the pseudonym “Johnathan from Las Vegas” to let people know that his penis is so buried in his scrotal tissue that he can’t direct his urination and often sprays the area around him.
He also told — to more laughter on the set — of how he can’t sit down for a bowel movement and must catch it in the same kind of pail used in casinos for coins.
“I don’t like being a freak, who would?” Warren said. “But I figured that the Stern show is listened to by millions of people and they might want to help me. I hope some millionaire or billionaire will want to help me.”
Many people have reached him through his firstname.lastname@example.org email address, he said.