Man Who Cried Wolf Charged With Felony

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Wednesday afternoon, Bill Miller of New Jersey  playfully texted a friend “I am flipped over in the middle of the bay…I don’t know what to do??”

How was his friend to know Bill was just playing a joke on her?

“She took it seriously I guess and, uh…she had already contacted the authorities — 911,” Miller said.

My boat was never off the beach, I was in my house with my cell phone at my waist,” said Miller.

Keyport police weren’t laughing. That text triggered an emergency response in the middle of a storm that included bad weather, dangerous lightning, trees and power lines down.

“I never intended for this to happen,” Miller said.

Still, Miller was arrested and hit with a felony charge of causing a false public alarm, which carries a hefty 3 to 5 years in jail, and a $15,000 dollar fine.

He will fight the charges.

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http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/07/19/nj-man-charged-with-felony-after-joking-text-to-friend-prompted-emergency-rescue-response/

Killer Chimp Mauls Infant

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They aren’t cute. They aren’t cuddly. They are DEADLY wild animals. The first chimpanzee baby born at the LA Zoo in 13 years was mauled to death Tuesday by an adult chimp in front of a crowd of visitors, including children, zoo officials said.

Zoo officials said they had had no prior indication of any problems between the baby and the other chimps, but they noted that the behavior was not completely uncommon. Males will exhibit aggression toward babies especially if they desire the infant’s mother, officials said.

The unnamed infant was born March 6 and was introduced to the public on May 18. Zoo officials said Gracie, the mother,  had proved to be a “fantastic mother” who had been very gentle with her offspring.

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http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/LA-Zoo-Griffith-Park-Chimpanzee-Chimp-Attack-160485205.html

Bad Granny Steals Grandson’s College Fund

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Naughty Grandma! That was NOT your money to gamble away!

A grandmother wanted in Northwest Indiana for stealing her grandson’s $97,000 college fund remains at large, believed by authorities to be on the lam in Minden, La. Her vengeance-seeking son-in-law demands her extradition, but a Catch-22 prevents police in both states from apprehending her.

Edna Sue Pate, 73, stands accused of having looted her grandson’s college trust fund—of which she was sole trustee—then gambling it all away.

In 2011, as Christian Smith’s graduation from high school approached, his father, Thomas Smith, sought to contact Pate about the account. When she did not respond, he started getting worried. He brought a civil suit against her, demanding an accounting of the trust. When that, too, went unanswered, local law enforcement issued a warrant for Pate’s arrest.

James Sibley, a Griffith police detective working on the case, in May filed an affidavit laying out the facts: Between 2004 and 2007 Pate had withdrawn some $97,000 in checks payable to cash. Records kept by the Majestic Star II Casino in Gary showed that Pate had incurred some $93,000 in gambling losses. She has been charged by the Criminal Division of Lake County Superior Court with four counts of theft.

Grandma Pate is believed to be living in Louisiana. Believed, but not verified. Louisiana doesn’t want to go to the trouble of locating and arresting Pate unless it knows Indiana will take her off its hands. And Indiana doesn’t want to go get her, since that would require a special expenditure of money and effort.

Smith is organizing a fund raiser to pay for the cost of sending Indiana officials to Louisiana to go get her. In the meantime, Granny Pate is living free while her grandson ponders how to now pay for an education.

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http://abcnews.go.com/Business/fugitive-grandma-edna-sue-pate-large-due-catch/story?id=16656315#.T-ulHRee4bI

ATV DUI Kills Dory, the Pony

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A Yorkville man was charged with driving an all-terrain vehicle under the influence after he struck a Shetland pony that had gotten loose in Kendall County, officials said.

The accident happened early Sunday at 3 a.m. as Quintin Wissmiller, 33, was driving a Polaris Ranger ATV in Yorkville, said Kendall County Sheriff’s Deputy Craig French.

The pony had to be euthanized due to the severity of her injuries, which included a broken back.

Wissmiller was charged with DUI and driving with a revoked driver’s license.

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http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-man-charged-with-dui-after-hitting-pony-in-yorkville-20120618,0,6590535.story

Poodle Puncher

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Nobody deserves to die this way. Especially not a cute little poodle.

Ted Shuttleworth, a former TV writer who once worked for “NYPD Blue” was arrested for punching his poodle so hard in the face it caused a traumatic brain injury.

He could face up to a year in prison if convicted. I hope they have anger management classes available to this man.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/17/ted-shuttleworth_n_1603740.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Senior Citizen Brawl Leaves One Dead

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An 81-year-old man accepted the challenge of a parking lot fight with a 70-year-old in Redding, CA and lost his life.

Witnesses told police Robert Leonard Mix, 81,  was sitting in his Dodge pickup waiting for a parking space, which was causing congestion in the parking lot of a Costco.

Gerald Eugene Carpenter, 70, walked by the pickup, hitting Mix on the arm.

The two began arguing about Mix’s truck blocking traffic and Carpenter challenged Mix to a fight, police said.

Mix got out of the pickup and tried to hit Carpenter with a metal cane but Carpenter grabbed the cane and both men fell.

Mix hit his head on the pavement in the fall, was taken to the hospital for surgery, and later died when he was removed from life support.

The incident is still under investigation.

Why can’t we all just get along?

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http://www.redding.com/news/2012/jun/12/paynes-creek-man-dies-after-monday-fight-costco-re/

Attack of the Hot Pants

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What’s the first thing you do when you find out your lover has taken another? Pour wasabi sauce on her jeans, push her to the ground, then smack her in the eyes with the tainted jeans? That is exactly what John McGuinness of Massachusetts is being charged with.

The college student is facing criminal charges after admitting he assaulted his girlfriend with a pair of jeans covered in wasabi sauce, an attack that the man claims was prompted when “some guy she slept with in school was texting her.”

After receiving a text from McGuinness stating he was throwing her jeans outside (apparently she left his house sans pants the last time she was there), she arrived at McGuinness’ home, where he “came out to the driveway with my jeans covered in wasabi sauce.”

She told cops that McGuinness “had my jeans by the waist and whipped me in the face with them. I got wasabi sauce in my eyes and they were burning and I couldn’t see.”

McGuinness, a Springfield College student, then tossed wasabi sauce inside the woman’s car. The victim told officers that after McGuinness threw her to the ground, she got back into her car and retrieved a bottle of water, which she used to flush her eyes.

Cops noted that the passenger side of the woman’s 2007 Toyota Camry “was covered in wasabi sauce.” The victim, whose clothing was covered in dirt stains,  had “visible red marks on her neck area” and “her right eye was visibly red and swollen.”

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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/wasabi-sauce-attack-748301

Twisted Pedophile Fakes Sex for Sex

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It’s all so confusing. The Killers may have said it best: “Somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend, I had in February of last year…”

Evidently, she was allegedly trying to BE the girlfriend by being the boyfriend of a 15-year-old girl she met online. Posing as a 17-year-old boy named “James Puryear Wilson”, Carissa Hads met the teenage girl on an unnamed “social networking site” around October 2010.

Hads was arrested two weeks ago on a U.S. District Court complaint accusing her of coercion or enticement of a minor, a felony carrying a maximum of 30 years in prison. On Friday, Hads was ordered held without bond by a federal magistrate judge who ruled she was a flight risk and a danger to the community.

Hads, using the “Wilson” persona, and the girl became “involved in an internet romance” that included Hads sending the teen two cell phones “for A.L.’s use to contact ‘him.’” Along with paying the girl’s monthly cell phone bills, Hads also sent her a Kindle Fire tablet, according to the affidavit.

Didn’t A.L.’s parents think it was a LITTLE strange for their daughter to be sent such extravagant gifts? And A.L.’s mother drove her own daughter 100 miles to meet an internet friend at a MOTEL? Then, two months later lets that “friend” stay at their house for five days–unsupervised?

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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/female-poses-as-male-789432

Stoner Drives Off With Baby on Roof of Car

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“Forgetting” your newborn baby on the roof of a car? Awful. NOT REALIZING YOU FORGOT about the baby until getting home? Appalling.

A marijuana-smoking woman was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix after she accidentally drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the roof of her vehicle, police said.

The baby fell off the car in the middle of an intersection and was found unharmed and strapped into the seat, said Phoenix police spokesman James Holmes.

The mother Catalina Clouser, 19, was booked into jail on child abuse and aggravated assault charges, he said. The infant was taken to a local hospital as a precaution and is in the custody of state Child Protective Services.

“It appears the suspect put the baby on the roof of the car and drove off, forgetting he was still on the roof,” Holmes said in a written statement.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/03/catalina-clouser-pot-baby-roof-car_n_1565487.html?ref=mostpopular

Impress Your Date–Jack a Car

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Way to go, Lorenzo. Now she’ll never have that fairy tail prom night story to tell her grandkids. There will be no bad prom pictures, except perhaps his mugshot taken after his arrest.

Lorenzo Bracey, from Chicago’s West Side,  has been charged for allegedly hijacking a sports-utility vehicle at gun-point before he went to prom with his girlfriend.

Police said they found Bracey wearing a white tuxedo with white gym shoes. After they cuffed him and took him to a district station lockup, his upset girlfriend complained to police about how “her prom was ruined,” police said.

Did said girlfriend not notice the unfamiliar vehicle her boyfriend showed up in to go out? Were there no questions in her mind how Lorenzo obtained the 1997 Ford SUV?

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http://www.suntimes.com/12936326-418/carjacking-suspect-arrested-on-prom-night-girlfriend-not-happy.html

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