Tales From The Darkside: Al Roker Jr. Does The Desert

Al Roker Jr. reports on “The P.T. Barnum of Bootie”:  I recently was invited to a birthday party, a birthday party like no other. Now everyone enjoys a party, especially an adult birthday party (they’re usually one step down from a wedding reception: there’s plenty of ass, and everyone looks good and is usually drunk).

This particular party was held in Carson City, the capitol of Nevada, located half way between Reno and Lake Tahoe. The guest of honor, the birthday boy in question, was none other than Dennis Hof, proprietor of the World Famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch and star of HBO’s Cathouse. I’m lucky enough to say that Dennis and I have been friends for a dozen years or so, and every time I wear one of his #Bunnyranch shirts in public I’m always asked the same things, “Do you know him?” “Have you ever been there?”  The answer is yes, and yes.

I have in fact been to the Bunnyranch many times over the years but his birthday party is always special.  It’s not just the bevy of beauties who you can bed running around half naked as usual that make it so, but it’s even (if you can believe it!) more surreal than that. This year’s party had a big top theme (insert joke here), which made hence your host, the birthday boy, Hof, the self-proclaimed “P.T. Barnum of Bootie”.  He was dressed to the nines, resplendent in a top hat and tails like the ringmaster he is. This party had it all:  Magicians, midgets, prostitutes, clowns, balloons, prostitutes, cotton candy, hot dogs, prostitutes, body painters, popcorn, and, did I mention prostitutes?

I did mention surreal, and boy was it ever; it was like an episode of “The Surreal Life”, literally. Former wrestler now recently turned porn star Chyna was there http://vivid.com/celeb/chyna/, along with Joey Buttafuoco who made headlines in 1992 when his 17-year-old mistress, the “Long Island Lolita”, Amy Fisher shot his then-wife Mary Jo in the face.  Of course, no adult-celebrity birthday party of this magnitude would be complete without porn legend the “Hedgehog” Ron Jeremy!  I’m telling you, this was like a who’s who of who?

I had not even tired of hob knobbing with former wrestlers, porn stars, and reformed statutory rapists (sorry Joey), when the “talent show” entered the Big Top!  Boy were these girls talented! I can’t reveal too much but I will admit I witnessed porn legend Ron Jeremy blow his own……harmonica!

Some people came dressed as clowns, some people came dressed in body paint, and others just came (as usual in that joint).  Throw in about 40 bunnyranch girls (80 tits if you’re keeping score at home), a plane load of invited guests, and a shitload of booze, and you’ve got yourself a party my friend! And when that party ends, after hours the party really begins! http://ustre.am/:1aMKf  Thanks @DennisHof!  Happy birthday my Brotha; I can’t wait until next year!

 

By Al Roker Jr., aka “Ken Smith”

Check Al out on FB, http://www.facebook.com/alrokerjr

Twitter @alrokerjr,

Hear his show at  http://alrokerjr.com

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