Toys for T@ts…..FREE Lapdances if you bring in a Toy!

A Chicago Gentleman’s club is offering FREE lap dances if you donate to their TOY drive!  That’s right.  Bring in some plastic molded into a toy truck or barbie and The Admiral Theatre in Chicago will treat you to a showcase of their best plastic molded into the form of breasts….attached to one of their exotic dancers of course.

The Admiral is a Chicago staple.  For years, young men have had their first “strip club” experience at The Admiral in Chicago.  It’s often looked at as one of the “classier” gentleman’s clubs in the area.

So bring in an unwrapped Woody (the sheriff) action figure, and you may very well leave with a woody.  Don’t get carried away though, as the Admiral is only offering one FREE lap dance per customer.  Be advised if you want to bring in an unwrapped Buzz (as in Buzz Lightyear the Space Ranger) you can certainly get a free lap dance, but you will not catch a “buzz”.  The Admiral Theatre ( does not serve alcohol.  they do offer FULL nudity though…which is nice.  I mean…if you’re into that sort of thing.  Ahem.

The Admiral is open from 7pm to 6am, 364 days a year.  The only day they close is Christmas Eve. The Chicagoist reports last year’s effort raised 5 carloads of toys.  We’re not exactly sure what constitutes a “carload” though.  How many bushels or pecks are in one carload?

Here’s a portion of the article linked by Drudge from CBS Chicago:

CHICAGO (CBS) — If you’re a stingy, Scroogey type at Christmas, the Admiral Theatre has an incentive for you to change your ways.

Yes, that Admiral Theatre.

Beginning Monday and continuing through Saturday, the Admiral is offering a free lap dance to anyone who donates an unused, unwrapped toy.

But you won’t get extra attention if you clear off the shelves at the toy store and come to the Admiral with a big sack on your back. The limit is one lap dance per customer.

The campaign was launched last year. The Onion A.V. Club reports the Admiral had customer participation in its service events drop, and wanted to provide an incentive for people to get involved again.


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