Leprechaun Attack in Seattle

Don’t laugh at leprechauns in Seattle. Don’t dance with their women at a club. And by ALL MEANS, when brawling in a bar over said women supposedly “with” leprechauns, make certain you get a clear description of the ones beating you.

Early last Saturday morning, Seattle police arrived at the scene of a bar fight that left one man covered in blood and screaming in pain, his head held in his hands.

When officers asked the man who had attacked him, he responded:

“It was a bunch of leprechauns.”

The victim claims the leprechauns in question were angry at him for dancing with a woman at the bar. One of them one was reportedly wearing “a white tank top.” Big help, that is.

What remains unclear is why the leprechauns chose violence over reason. Were they really feeling threatened by the guy who wanted their “lucky charms”? Were his Michael Flatley dance moves out of time to the beat? Did the man throw fake gold coins at the leprechauns to make them leave?

The man was taken to the hospital and treated for his injuries.

The leprechauns remain at large, er, at small….nevermind.



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