Video Game Urban Legends

Resurrected just in time for Halloween, has identified eight video game urban legends. The frightening thing is the claim that they are TRUE. Are we looking for deeper meaning in these findings, or is it a dark, sinister, subliminal circumstance to implant the abnormal into our brains while we THINK we are entertaining ourselves?

Exhibit number one:  Super Mario Galaxy 2 — The Shadow People of Hell Valley

In a game like Mario, you’re usually too focused on not falling off the crumbling catwalk into the lava below to ever really stop and look around. Especially in Mario Galaxy, where you are zipped across space from one world to the next, the vastness of the game world just whipping by you in a blur.

But if you ever do get the chance to stop and stare into the distance, you’ll find some extremely creepy shit. Specifically, in one level of Super Mario Galaxy 2, if you switch to first-person view and look in a certain direction, you can see shadowy figures standing at the edge of the galaxy. Watch, see for yourself:!

Not too creepy to me. It’s like LOOKING for trouble. This next one is more evil and sinister.

Exhibit number two: Microsoft Office 95 — Hall of Tortured Souls

There’s something called “The Hall of Tortured Souls” or “The Hall of Lost Souls” hidden inside Word 95; supposedly, it’s a creepy first-person game with Doom-like graphics, and if you make it to the end of a narrow path, it will show you “something really, really eerie” or “reveal something about Microsoft.” Or both.

That is completely false. There is no creepy game hidden inside Word 95.

It’s on Excel 95.

If you open a new Excel file, go to Row 95 and follow a few other steps, a new window will pop up on your screen and possibly take 10 years away from your life with the resulting shock. Turns out that “Hall of Tortured Souls” isn’t a dramatic nickname people on the Internet invented: It’s what the window actually says.

The “game” appears to have only two rooms, separated by some stairs: The one with the blue pillars and the green pools, and another with red names raining down a window. That’s it. The place is completely deserted except for you, which somehow makes it even creepier. However … if you type “EXCELKFA” while facing a certain direction, one of the walls will disappear while you’re not looking, and behind it you’ll see a narrow, very hard-to-cross bridge with something weird at the other end:  a bizarre other-dimensional re-enactment of the Last Supper…

Awwww, it’s okay. Don’t freak. those are actually the guys who developed Excel 95. Apparently, Microsoft programmers used to do this all the time. It’s simply a fun way for them to credit their work, because seriously, when was the last time you read the “About” page for a program?

Of course, some people still see this as definite proof that Bill Gates is, in fact, the Antichrist, accusing him of personally putting the game there to … you know, be all Antichristy and stuff.


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