Heinz known the world over as one of the largest purveyors of ketchup, is trying to get around Chicago’s established ‘no ketchup’ rule with something called ‘Chicago Dog Sauce’. On National Hot Dog Day when our guard is down because we have buns in each hand, Heinz has launched the sauce which is made up of “red ripe tomatoes and a special blend of spices and flavorings” according to WGN. That’s ketchup, a red liquid lie I tell ya!
In a promo video above one surly ChiKAAAgo guy says that Heinz is “challenging people’s identity” with a maneuver that is a ketchup wolf-in-condiment sheep’s clothing. They just change the label to say ‘Chicago Dog Sauce’ and in the process compromise all that is right and good in greater Cook County area. These jerks even used our flag on the bottle to pull of this scam!
It’s just not right, when I grew up I relinquished a need to put sugar on almost everything. That’s a major reason for the over-the-top-but-never-on-top-of-our-dog anti-ketchup stance of Chicagoans hold to. For those of us who have long grown up with the silly tradition of ‘never put ketcup on your hotdog’ is an attack. One of the hot dog stand managers put it best in Heinz’s zesty hit job of a video, saying you can have it on your dog “if ya got training wheels on your bike.” I agree with him. It’s not easy to get a kid to eat some times, so just cover it in goop that looks like a liquefied Twizzler and they’ll gobble it up. As an adult you grow to appreciate the rich cured taste of Vienna Beef hot dogs, which became regional sensation over a century ago. Putting ketchup on a hot dog to me, is like putting peanut butter on a steak. It does not make sense, but I get why some people do it.
Local chain Portillos came under red hot fire last year when they permitted ketchup as a topping, even posting a video on their corporate Youtube account about it. If you want to put ketchup on it, go ahead but don’t make disrespect the craftsmanship of sausage makers who’ve filled bellies from Edison Park to Beverly, from Aurora to South Shore for generations. Heinz keeping making the yella stuff, we like that but your move with the secret label today is like chameleon , it can change colors but it’s just a lizrard.
You can order a bottle of this stuff chicagodogsauce.com
On #NationalHotDogDay see what happens when we ask Chicago to reconsider its no ketchup rule #whatsonyourdog? https://t.co/4HAyFcq4CH pic.twitter.com/bkbXQUBscr
— Heinz Ketchup (@HeinzKetchup_US) July 18, 2017
