Glitter is an ecological nightmare, finding its way nearly a third of the fish we potentially eat.  For that reason, science is calling for a ban on the stuff.

Words actually read while perusing an article on the evils of glitter:  “Arts and crafts enthusiasts have known for years that glitter tends to attach itself everywhere and never seems to come off. ”

Yeah, right.  ✌️Arts and craft enthusiasts.✌️

Gentlemen, you might be off the hook from this potentially incriminating evidence.  And ladies, you may need to find another method of detecting whether or not he patronized your local ✌️arts and craft enthusiasts✌️ club during that last bachelor party.  — [eric]