It’s a unassuming large home in the Philadelphia suburbs from the outside.

But the current owner doesn’t appear to want to sugar coat it — the 5,000 square foot already comes with a ready-made BDSM-friendly basement, complete with “whips, a pillory, and a goddamn wooden star where you can tie (and/or be tied by) your significant other,” according to Vice.

Meanwhile, an editor from Deadspin had a chance to tour the home himself —- and just in time, documented things for us:

They took the S&M basement photos down, but our memories are forever pic.twitter.com/NUoTjIUDzL

— Dan McQuade (@dhm) February 8, 2019

And all this time, all I’ve been looking for is updated electrical and nice subway tile back-splash.  —- [eric]