I’ll do my best to summarize this crazy crime story.

Last week, police in Alabama investigated a tip that a man was keeping a “methamphetamine-fueled attack squirrel” in his apartment.  But that 35 year old man — Mickey Paulk — got tipped about the raid and had bailed.  Here, by the way, is video of the squirrel:

While on the run from police to dodge unrelated weapons/drug charges, Paulk took to the internet — and the frickin’ Washington Post — to deny that while the animal was very aggressive, he would never feed his beloved pet squirrel a powerful stimulant like meth.

The squirrel’s name, by the way, is “Deeznuts.”  Because of course it is.

When cops finally caught up to Paulk on Thursday, he tried to flee on a motorcycle and ended up ramming an investigator’s vehicle.  He was booked into jail on numerous felony charges.  As for the squirrel?  Released into the wild by the police, as it is illegal to keep one as a pet.

Isn’t this how zombie movie 28 Days Later started?  Rage-filled squirrels?  — [eric]

[📷 : Pexels]