While some people were spending quality time with their immediate family members this Thanksgiving weekend, we were hard at work checking the Chicago police scanners.

The things we heard were better than any Black Friday deal you found guaranteed!

Here is what went down:

Part 1 – Thursday 2:35 PM – Aurora – 1700 block of North Orchard Rd – Screaming and animal sounds coming from neighbors house. Man in backyard with a big knife.

Part 2 – Second Call – 2:42 PM – Possible assault happening across the street. There’s a man screaming “I’m going to f’n kill you”.

Part 3 – Officer Response – 2:59 – Man bought a live turkey from Craigslist and was attempting to kill it in the backyard to teach his family about a traditional thanksgiving. Animal control is in route to gain possession of the turkey. The turkey was not injured.

Saturday – 8:09 PM – 102 W. Division – Jewel bathroom – Man refusing to remove his pet tortoise from toilet.

Sunday – 3:34 PM – Hyde Park – Whole Foods – Woman scooped mash potatoes in her pocket. She is walking around the store eating them with her hands. When approached she said she brought the potato’s from home. She left without dispute.

Sunday – Orland Park – 11:19 AM – Delivery driver says a customer opened the door naked. She offered to tip him extra to come inside the residence. She reportedly does this all the time and he wants it to stop.