Hammond Mayor Thomas McDermott was a having a great bike ride, but then he had to deal with a flat tire which caused him to discover some very silly graffiti on a public trail. McDermott found a bunch of genitalia shapes painted over A 50 foot space of a public bike trail, so he reported to the city’s 311 app on his phone. Of all the people who had to call it in to city officials, it’s the guy who runs the city?!

It’s a pretty embarrassing and ridiculous crotch-oriented crime story that was broken by the Post-Tribune.

The quotes from the article are laugh-out-loud on the first read:

“I see a penis,” McDermott said.

“Penis graffiti all over bike trail. Literally 20 penises painted on trail, like directional signs, except the signs are penises,” the mayor wrote on the city’s 311 app.

The whole thing reminds me of the outrageous premise of the Netflix comedy crime series, Amercian Vandal. Check out the trailer to see what I mean.