Roselle to Vote on Allowing Marijuana Stores on Tuesday

Roselle, this is your chance to legalize it! Residents can sound off on whether to allow recreational marijuana sales in their community at a public hearing Tuesday at the Roselle Village Hall. Per Fox 32, “Residents were asked should the village allow retail stores to sell cannabis to adults and whether the town should allow the “craft, growing, infusion, cultivation, processing and transportation of that cannabis,” within state guidelines.

The public hearing at the village hall Tuesday at 7 p.m. will give residents another chance to weigh in and start the conversation about the conditions for opening a business. Security measures, hours of operation and buffer requirements for the site are all details that would still need to work out.

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CPS Offering Free Condoms in Nearly Every School, Including Elementary Schools

A new CPS policy that was passed in December will be enacted next month. This will put both condoms and menstrual products in nearly all schools going forward for CPS. According to the Chicago Sun Times, “schools that teach fifth grade and up must maintain a condom availability program as part of an expanded vision of sexual health education. That means all but a dozen, which enroll only younger grades, of the more than 600 CPS schools will have condoms.”

It’s tremendous that CPS is offering menstrual products to those that need it, but what about condoms in schools? In a statement by CPS, they noted, “CPS stresses that choosing to not have sex is the norm for 5th graders. Parents/guardians should be notified by their school if a condom demonstration will be provided.”

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Would You Support a Four-Day Work Week?

A couple of years ago, the World Health Organization classified “workplace burnout” as a legitimate health issue a year after a professor at Stanford suggested over 150,000 Americans die on a yearly basis as a result of the “work” aspect of the “work-life balance” outweighing the latter to a fatal degree. There is now a growing push to change the American work week to a four-day week in an effort to curb work-related stress and health issues.

A new Icelandic study that took place over four years tracked 2,500 workers who worked for 35-36 hours a week. productivity remained the same or improved for the majority of workplaces, the study said. Participants worked at various places such as hospitals, offices, playschools and social service offices.

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Not to Be Melondramatic, But Two Dudes Robbed a Store With Watermelons On Their Heads

Two men in Virginia spread their seed all over their community by robbing a connivence store with melons over their noggins.

One of these men, a 20-year-old, was arrested shortly after and charged with wearing a mask in public while committing larceny as well as stealing alcohol while underage. Police are losing their rinds trying to find the other suspect.

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Parents Want to Rename Amazon’s ‘Alexa’ After Kids Named Alexa Get Bullied

If Karen’s thought they had it bad, they might want to check with what Alexa’s have going on in their world right now. There is a growing movement of parents wanting to rename the smart speaker’s assistant AI after a number of bullying incidents related to children named Alexa. Parents in the UK told BBC, “She started to not want to introduce herself because of the jokes and the backlash,” in regards to their daughter named Alexa.

Other parents have also expressed wanting Amazon to change the name of its speaker. Massachusetts-based Lauren Johnson started a campaign called “Alexa is a Human,” noting in a letter to Amazon that her daughter, is “constantly bullied at school and camp because her name is Alexa.”

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Florida Man Pretends To Be a Firework

There is no better way to honor this great country than to wake up your neighbors in the middle of the night by pretending to be a firework. This man totally gets it.

We double dog dare someone to give this a shot in their neighborhood tonight. We’re sure your neighbors will think it’s very funny and not troublesome.

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Cubs, Sox Represent Chicago Well in All-Star Game

Both the Cubs and White Sox will have plenty of representatives at the MLB All-Star Game in Colorado this summer. From the North Side, Kris Bryant and closer Craig Kimbrel will represent the National League. The Sox will have three pitches representing them, which is the first time that’s happened since 2006. Lance Lynn, Carlos Rodon, and Liam Hendriks will proudly represent the South Side.

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Damage Your Liver This Weekend? This Trick Can Help You Recover

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my liver recovery fuel. Researches say that coffee can reduce liver damage that’s associated with overindulging in food and alcohol. The study found that regular indulgences of coffee can drastically reduce the chances of cirrhosis.

More information on the study can be found here.

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Queued Up Playlist 7/4/21

HOUR 1
Milky Chance Colorado
Willow Transparent Soul
Angels and Airwaves Euphoria
Grandson Rain
Kennyhoopla Hollywood Sucks
Aurora Runaway
Ya Tseen Knives
Surf Curse Freaks
Mansionair Don’t Wait
The Joy Formidable Into The Blue
Bryce Fox Golden Boy
K.Flay Four Letter Words
The Neighbourhood Stargazing
The Marias Hush
Kid Brunswick When You Were Young
Lorde Solar Power
HOUR 2
Idles Damaged Goods
Slothrust Once More For the Ocean
Grabbitz Pigs in the Sky
Gang of Youths The Angels of 8th Ave
Low Days Like These
Chvrches He Said She Said
I Don’t Know How But They Found Me New Invention
Japanese Breakfast Be Sweet
Peach Tree Rascals Change My Mind
Saint Motel It’s All Happening
Liz Phair Spanish Doors
Briston Maroney Bottle Rocket
Tessa Violet feat. Lovelytheband Games
Dreamers feat. Big Boi and Upsahl Palm Reader
Tiberius B Big Deal
Clairo Blouse
Bastille Distorted Light Beam
Julian Lamadrid 15 Minutes
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Chicago area native takes second in Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest

Sarah Rodriguez is from Naperville — and she demolished 24 hot dogs in 10 minutes to take second in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest — a staple of the Independence Day Weekend.  Because what else screams ‘MURICA! like competitive eating? 🇺🇸

Turns out Sarah is part of dynamic duo — her husband, who also is a competitive eater.  NBC Chicago covers them here.

Congratulations, Sarah!

[📷: Shutterbug75 from Pixabay]

7.4.2021 History Of Alternative

Hour 1

  • Sparks – Cool Places
  • Temple Of The Dog – Hunger Strike
  • Sublime – Badfish
  • INXS – Listen Like Thieves
  • The Offspring – Self Esteem
  • Throwing Muses – Bright Yellow Gun
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers – By The Way
  • Supergrass – Alright
  • Weezer – Pork And Beans
  • Morrissey – The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get
  • Cake – The Distance
  • Against Me! – Thrash Unreal
  • Beck – Loser
  • Incubus – Are You In?

Hour 2

  • XTC – Generals And Majors
  • Alice In Chains – No Excuses
  • Nine Inch Nails – Hurt
  • Kim Wilde – Kids In America
  • Jet – Are You Gonna Be My Girl?
  • Material Issue – Valerie Loves Me
  • The Cure – Just Like Heaven
  • Taking Back Sunday – MakeDamnSure
  • Smashing Pumpkins – Cherub Rock
  • Psychedelic Furs – Love My Way
  • No Doubt – Hella Good
  • The Eels – Novocaine For The Soul
  • The Strokes – Last Nite


Hour 3

  • The Ramones – Rock N Roll High School
  • Our Lady Peace – Clumsy
  • Stone Temple Pilots – Wicked Garden
  • Devo – Freedom Of Choice
  • Oasis – Wonderwall
  • Seether/Amy Lee – Broken
  • Foo Fighters – Everlong
  • Soup Dragons – I’m Free
  • Garbage – Stupid Girl
  • Hoodoo Gurus – What’s My Scene
  • The Killers – When You Were Young
  • Alphaville – Forever Young
  • Nirvana – You Know You’re Right

Hour 4

  • Beastie Boys – Body Movin’
  • Tears For Fears – Mad World
  • Pearl Jam – Just Breathe
  • The Pixies – Here Comes Your Man
  • Cracker – Low
  • Siouxsie And The Banshees – Peek-A-Boo
  • Blink 182 – I Miss You
  • Violent Femmes – American Music
  • Green Day – American Idiot
  • The Pretenders – Back On The Chain Gang
  • New Radicals – You Get What You Give
  • X – 4th Of July

Couple finds $50 billion mistakenly deposited in their account

Whenever I open my bank account after a paycheck deposit or two, it’s fun to think about all the ways I could frivolously spend it — even though most of that cash is earmarked for the mortgage, car payment, bills, savings, etc.  Oh, well…..

What would you do if you found $50 BILLION one morning?

A couple in Louisiana screen found this gargantuan pile of moolah in their account one day — and like good upstanding citizens, they immediately informed their bank of the error (which was resolved FOUR DAYS later — could you imagine just staring at that much wealth in your account?!?)

For those of you who might say it was the bank’s error, too bad so sad — it turns out that if it isn’t yours, you have to give it back.  — [eric]

[📷: John Guccione from Pexels]

Surprise! Chicago will indeed blast off Independence Day fireworks

Mayor Lori Lightfoot dropped the news on the city Friday — there will indeed be a 4th of July fireworks display on the lakefront.

Ever since Navy Pier said they were cancelling for the second year in a row, we thought the city would step — and did they ever.  They say the display will be a “high-altitude show” — meaning fireworks will blow up much higher in the air.  You should have a good vantage point anywhere from Grand Ave. down to 55th St.

Saturday night.  9:30PM.  Crank up the alt playlist and enjoy!  — [eric] 

White Stripes album turns 20!

The White Stripes’ landmark album, White Blood Cells, was released 20 years ago!

No covers, no guest musicians, no blues and no guitar solos, The White Stripes’ third album would be most of the world’s introduction to Jack and Meg White.

Track listing:
“Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground”
“Hotel Yorba”
“I’m Finding It Harder to Be a Gentleman”
“Fell in Love with a Girl”
“Expecting”
“Little Room”
“The Union Forever”
“The Same Boy You’ve Always Known”
“We’re Going to Be Friends”
“Offend in Every Way”
“I Think I Smell a Rat”
“Aluminum”
“I Can’t Wait”
“Now Mary”
“I Can Learn”
“This Protector”

Ticket Blitz Thursday – 311 – Official Rules

WKQX’s “Ticket Blitz Thursday” Contest
Official Rules

A complete copy of these rules can be obtained at the offices of radio station WKQX (“Station”), owned and operated by Cumulus Media Holdings Inc. or one of its subsidiary companies, 455 N. Cityfront Plaza Drive, Suite 1700, Chicago, IL 60611, during normal business hours Monday through Friday, Station website www.101wkqx.com,  or by sending a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the above address.

The Station will conduct the WKQX’s “Ticket Blitz Thursday” Contest (the “Contest”) substantially as described in these rules, and by participating, each participant agrees as follows:

  1. No purchase is necessary to enter or win. A purchase will not increase your chance of winning.   Void where prohibited.  All federal, state, and local regulations apply.

Eligibility.  This Contest is open only to legal U.S. residents, excluding dual Florida and New York residents, age eighteen (18) years  or older at the time of entry with a valid Social Security number and who reside in the Station’s Designated Market Area (“DMA”) as defined by Nielsen Audio, who have not won a prize from the Station in the last thirty (30) days or a prize valued at $500 or more in the last sixty (60) days, and whose immediate family members or household members have not won a prize from the Station in the last thirty (30) days or a prize valued at $500 or more in the last ninety (90) days. Void where prohibited by law.  Employees of Chicago FM Radio Assets, LLC, Station, each of their parent company, affiliates, related entities and subsidiaries, promotional sponsors, prize providers, advertising agencies, other radio stations serving the Station’s DMA, and the immediate family members and household members of all such employees are not eligible to participate. The term “immediate family members” includes spouses, parents and step-parents, siblings and step-siblings, and children and stepchildren.  The term “household members” refers to people who share the same residence at least three (3) months out of the year. The Contest is subject to all applicable federal, state and local laws and regulations. Participation constitutes entrant’s full and unconditional agreement to these Official Rules and Station’s decisions, which are final and binding in all matters related to the Contest. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein.

  1. Contest Period. The Contest will begin at 8:00am CT on Thursday, July 8, 2021 and will run through 6:00pm CT on Thursday, July 8, 2021 (the “Contest Period”).  The Station’s computer is the official time keeping device for this Contest.
  2. How to Enter. To enter:

(i) TextListen to the Station Thursday, July 8, 2021 at 8:00am, 9:00am, 10:00am, 11:00am, 12:00pm, 1:00pm, 2:00pm, 3:00pm, 4:00pm, and 5:00pm during the Contest Period.  When the Station announces the keyword and plays the “cue-to-text” sounder, TEXT the keyword to the Station at 312-101. Valid text entries received during the thirty (30) minute period after each cue-to-text sounder (as determined by the Station in its sole discretion) will be entered into the Grand Prize drawing. Time Delay Between Over-the-Air Analog Signal and Internet Broadcast: Due to the time delay that exists between the Station’s analog over-the-air signal and the Station’s online webcast, listeners who listen to the Station online may hear the cue to text later than listeners listening to the Station’s analog over-the-air signal. As a result, the odds of an online listener entering this Contest on-air may be diminished. Standard text messaging rates, as established by an individual’s wireless carrier, may apply, and Station assumes no responsibility for any fees or charges incurred for and associated with any text message sent to or from Station.  By entering the Contest using this method, you consent to receive a bounce back confirmation text. Any and all fees arising out of the transmission of a text message shall be the sole responsibility of the entrant.  Limit one (1) entry per person per phone number. Multiple participants are not permitted to share the same telephone number. Any attempt by any participant to submit more than one (1) entry by using multiple/different telephone phone numbers, identities, or any other methods will void that participant from further participation in the Contest.  By submission of a text message entry in this Contest, entrants hereby expressly consent to the receipt of a confirmatory bounce-back message related to this Contest.

(ii)  OnlineListen to the Station Thursday, July 8, 2021 at 8:00am, 9:00am, 10:00am, 11:00am, 12:00pm, 1:00pm, 2:00pm, 3:00pm, 4:00pm, and 5:00pm during the Contest Period. When the Station plays the “cue-to-text” sounder Visit the Station’s website at www.101wkqx.com and click on the “Contest” link, click on the “Ticket Blitz Thursday – 311” Contest link, and complete an entry form, including submitting the keyword announced on-air by the station.  Valid entries received during the thirty (30) minute period after each cue-to-text sounder (as determined by the Station in its sole discretion) will be entered into the Grand Prize drawing.  Limit one (1) entry per person per email address, per keyword.  Multiple participants are not permitted to share the same email address. Any attempt by any participant to submit more than one (1) entry by using multiple/different email addresses, identities, registrations and logins, or any other methods will void that entry and the participant may be disqualified.  Use of any automated system to participate is prohibited and will result in disqualification. Station is not responsible for lost, late, incomplete, invalid, unintelligible, inappropriate or misdirected registrations, all of which will be disqualified.  In the event of a dispute as to any registration, the authorized account holder of the email address used to register will be deemed to be the participant. The “authorized account holder” is the natural person assigned the telephone number by the wireless carrier or an email address by an Internet access provider, online service provider or other organization responsible for assigning email addresses for the domain associated with the submitted address.  Potential winner may be required to show proof of being the authorized account holder. All entries become the sole and exclusive property of Station and will not be returned.  Station reserves the right to contact entrants and all other individuals whose email address is submitted as part of this promotion.  No mail-in entries will be accepted.

Winner Selection. On Thursday, July 8, 2021 after each hourly Contest Period closes, as outlined in Section 3, Station will select one (1) entry for the prize in a random drawing from among all valid entries of each hourly contest. The winning entrants will be contacted using the email address and/or telephone number provided with the entry and may be awarded the prize (subject to verification of eligibility and compliance with the terms of these rules). Station’s decisions as to the administration and operation of the Contest and the selection of the potential winner are final and binding in all matters related to the Contest. Failure to respond to the initial verification contact within three (3) days of notification will result in disqualification and forfeiture of the prize.

  1. Verification of Potential Winner. THE ELIGIBILITY OF ALL POTENTIAL CONTEST WINNERS IS SUBJECT TO VERIFICATION BY STATION WHOSE DECISIONS ARE FINAL AND BINDING IN ALL MATTERS RELATED TO THE CONTEST. The potential winner must continue to comply with all terms and conditions of these Official Rules, and winning is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements. The potential winner may be notified by email and/or telephone call after the date of random drawing and/or winner determination. The potential winner will be required to sign and return to Station, within three (3) days of the date notice is sent, an affidavit of eligibility and a liability/publicity release (except where prohibited) in order to claim his/her prize, if applicable.  A winner who returns the affidavit of eligibility and liability/publicity release will be deemed to have accepted the contest prize and thereafter will not be permitted to rescind their acceptance of the prize and/or return the prize. If a potential winner cannot be contacted, fails to sign and return the affidavit of eligibility and/or the liability/publicity release within the required time period (if applicable), or if the prize or prize notification is returned as undeliverable, potential winner forfeits prize. In the event that the potential winner of a prize is disqualified for any reason, Station may award the applicable prize to an alternate winner by random drawing from among all remaining eligible entries.    
  2. Prize. Ten (10) prizes will be awarded in this Contest (each the “Prize”). Each Prize consists of: two (2) tickets to 311 on Friday, September 10, 2021 at Huntington Bank Pavilion at Northerly Island, 1300 S. Linn White Drive, Chicago, IL 60605. ARV is one hundred ten dollars ($59.00).  Winner is responsible for all taxes associated with prize receipt and/or use.  Odds of winning the Grand Prize depend on a number of factors including the number of eligible entries received during the Contest Period and listeners participating at any given time.

There is no substitution, transfer, or cash equivalent for prizes, except that the Station may, at its sole discretion and to the extent permitted by law, substitute prizes of comparable value or cash.  The prizes are expressly limited to the item(s) listed above and do not include taxes, gratuities or any other expenses.  Any tickets and/or gift certificates/cards awarded as part of a prize will be subject to the terms and conditions set forth by the issuer and are valid only on the date(s) printed on the tickets or gift certificates/cards.  Other restrictions may apply.

  1. Entry Conditions and Release. By entering, each participant agrees to: (a) comply with and be bound by these Official Rules and the decisions of the Station, which are binding and final in all matters relating to this Contest; (b) release and hold harmless Station, Cumulus Media Inc., and its subsidiaries, related and affiliated companies, participating sponsors, the prize suppliers and any other organizations responsible for sponsoring, fulfilling, administering, advertising or promoting the Contest, and each of their respective past and present officers, directors, employees, agents and representatives (collectively, the “Released Parties”) from and against any and all claims, expenses, and liability, including but not limited to negligence and damages of any kind to persons and property, including but not limited to invasion of privacy (under appropriation, intrusion, public disclosure of private facts, false light in the public eye or other legal theory), defamation, slander, libel, violation of right of publicity, infringement of trademark, copyright or other intellectual property rights, property damage, or death or personal injury arising out of or relating to a participant’s entry, creation of an entry or submission of an entry, participation in the Contest, acceptance or use or misuse of prize (including any travel or activity related thereto) and/or the broadcast, exploitation or use of entry; and (c) indemnify, defend and hold harmless the Released Parties from and against any and all claims, expenses, and liabilities (including reasonable attorneys’ fees) arising out of or relating to an entrant’s participation in the Contest and/or entrant’s acceptance, use, non-use or misuse of the prize.
  2. Except where prohibited, participation in the Contest constitutes winner’s consent to use by the Station and its agents of winner’s name, likeness, photograph, voice, opinions and/or biographical information (including hometown and state) for promotional purposes in any media, worldwide, without further payment or consideration, unless otherwise prohibited by law.
  3. All State, Local, Federal and/or other taxes, duties, tariffs, title fees, licensing fees, or other fees for prizes awarded become the sole responsibility of the winner.  All those who win a prize or prizes valued $600 or more in any given year will be issued an IRS Form 1099 to report their winnings.
  4. General Conditions. Station reserves the right to cancel, suspend and/or modify the Contest, or any part of it, if any fraud, technical failures or any other factor beyond Station’s reasonable control impairs the integrity or proper functioning of the Contest, as determined by Station in its sole discretion. Station reserves the right in its sole discretion to disqualify any individual it finds to be tampering with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or to be acting in violation of these Official Rules or acting in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner. Any attempt by any person to deliberately undermine the legitimate operation of the Contest may be a violation of criminal and civil law, and, should such an attempt be made, Station reserves the right to seek damages from any such person to the fullest extent permitted by law. Station’s failure to enforce any term of these Official Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision.
  5. Limitations of Liability. The Released Parties are not responsible for: (1) any incorrect or inaccurate information, whether caused by Station, entrants, printing errors or by any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the Contest; (2) technical failures of any kind, including but not limited to malfunctions, interruptions, or disconnections in phone lines or network hardware or software; (3) unauthorized human intervention in any part of the entry process or the Contest; (4) technical or human error which may occur in the administration of the Contest or the processing of entries; or (5) any injury or damage to persons or property which may be caused, directly or indirectly, in whole or in part, from entrant’s participation in the Contest or receipt or use, non-use or misuse of any prize. No more than the stated number of prizes will be awarded. In event that a production, technical, programming or other error causes more than stated number of prizes as set forth in these Official Rules to be claimed, Station reserves the right to award only the stated number of prizes by a random drawing among all legitimate, unawarded, eligible prize claims.
  6. Entrant agrees that: (i) any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Contest, or any prizes awarded, shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action; (ii) any and all disputes, claims and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Contest, or any prizes awarded, shall be resolved exclusively by the United States District Court or the appropriate state court located in the Station’s listening area; (iii) any and all claims, judgments and awards shall be limited to actual out-of-pocket costs incurred, including costs associated with entering this Contest, but in no event attorneys’ fees; and (iv) under no circumstances will entrant be permitted to obtain awards for, and entrant hereby waives all rights to claim punitive, incidental and consequential damages and any other damages, other than for actual out-of-pocket expenses, and any and all rights to have damages multiplied or otherwise increased. SOME JURISDICTIONS DO NOT ALLOW THE LIMITATIONS OR EXCLUSION OF LIABILITY FOR INCIDENTAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, SO THE ABOVE MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of entrant and Station in connection with the Contest, shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the state in which the Station is located, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules (whether of the state in which the Station is located or any other jurisdiction), which would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than the state in which the Station is located.
  7. Entrant’s Personal Information. Information collected from entrants is subject to Station’s Privacy Policy, which is available on the Station’s website under the “Privacy Policy” link. All entry blanks, forms, devices, and materials gathered during the course of entry, as well as all information contained therein, shall become the sole property of Station to be used, disposed of or destroyed in its sole discretion. Station is not responsible for any incorrect or inaccurate information entered by website users, and assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation or transmission, communications line failure, theft or destruction or unauthorized access to Station’s website.
  8. Contest Results. A winners list may be obtained within thirty (30) days after the Contest Period expires by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to the Station identified below.

CONTEST SPONSOR:  Chicago FM Radio Assets, LLC, 455 N. Cityfront Plaza Drive, Suite 1700, Chicago, IL 60611.

PRIZE PROVIDER: Live Nation, 111 E. Wacker Drive, Suite 1400, Chicago, IL 60601

 

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Dave Grohl says Nirvana was influenced by….disco

When you think of Nirvana and Smells Like Teen Spirit do you think of raw ruthless energy…but do you think of disco?  Dave Grohl spoke to Pharrell about how he lifted all his signature drum sounds from bands like Cameo and The Gap Band.  Check this out. 

 

Crazy right?  Further proof that every note has already been played, its how you arrange them that matters.

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Man Makes Medical History By Breaking His “Unit” Vertically During Sex

When the United States toppled the dastardly Soviet Union hockey team to secure the gold medal in the 1980 Winter Olympic games, announcer Al Michaels uttered the phrase, “Do you believe in miracles?” The US victory was a moment many never thought they would see and a moment they wouldn’t soon forget. Coming out of a pandemic, we thought we had seen as many medical miracles as we were going to see in this lifetime. Then, a man broke his penis vertically. We once again believe in miracles.

Per Gizmodo, “A broken penis, or penile fracture, is more accurately described as a tear starting from the tunica albuginea, the protective layer surrounding the erectile tissue that pump blood to the penis. The reason why it feels like a broken bone is that most injuries happen during sex, when a fully erect penis is bent too far and/or with too much force and buckles under the pressure, which then causes blood in the penis to leak out. When that happens, it’s almost always accompanied by a loud popping sound along with quickly formed bruising and swelling, again much like a broken bone.”

Doctors say the man’s private parts could look “noticeably different in presentation”, He just needs to be thankful that he still has it attached to his body.

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